Alright. I’ve had a whole lotta stuff going on and it’s still all sort of jumbling around in my head, so this post may not be on the extremely articulate side of things … bear with me.

I’ve been stressin’ … big time. I don’t know if it’s just the time of year and everyone’s getting antsy and ready for spring. I know a few other women that are feeling the same. Life’s kinda getting us down. Like we need to stop the world, recharge and start again.

I’m really having a hard time with the store. I made my mind up in November to sell and by the time I made up my mind … that was it. I was done and I wanted out. I seriously thought I wouldn’t be going back January 1. But I did.

I seriously thought I would have sold it by now. But I haven’t.

And I’m in such a state of in-between that it’s stressing me out. Not knowing what a new owner will do, I can’t hire anyone, so I’m running on a bare minimum staff … which means that I’m picking up slack that I’ve always hired other people to pick up for me. It’s just the way I’ve always run the store. I’ve had too many managers and have paid far too much in salaries {and lost money because of it}, but that’s the way I was able to make it work for me.

In order to have the home life I wanted and the business life I wanted … it was the sacrifice CJ made for me {funding a money pit, if you will}. Don’t get me wrong, the store has great, great potential to do well … it’s just that I put my investments in a full-time staff, so that I could have the best of both worlds. Do something I love, but be home with the people I love.

I’ve blabbed about it before … but the time has come to give 100% to the people I love. And once I made the decision, I was done. But here I am. Getting more and more stressed and working harder and harder. Not what I had in mind and I’m guessing, not what God had in mind for me either.

It’s suddenly dawned on me … summer is right around the corner! I was gypped out of being with the kids last summer {what, with everyone giving notice just two weeks before school let out} … I definitely am not letting it happen again!

I’ve been going back and forth with someone who put in an offer for the store. It was such a low-ball offer that my broker was embarrassed to give it to me. It wasn’t even a cash offer. I’ve countered and we’ve gone back and forth. A couple weeks had gone by and I hadn’t heard anything.

I’ve done a whole lotta praying and a whole lotta soul-searching. I’ve made the very hard decision to liquidate the store if I don’t have an acceptable offer by March 31. And wow … my heart is kinda beating hard right now … but at the same time, I feel nothing but relief.

Liquidating is the last thing I wanted to do. I care immensely for my staff and would never, in a million want to leave them stranded. And of course I care about the integrity of the store and the name it’s made. I’ve got a lot of blood, sweat and tears invested in that place and truly want to see it live on.

I had an honest talk with someone I work with and she helped me see that the Lord gave me instructions on what he wanted me to do … so why wasn’t I listening to him? Really, it’s not an easy answer. I truly thought I was listening … and that this was the course I was suppose to take.

Really though? He told me to sell, get rid of, or whatever I had to do … bottom line was to be home with my family. And here I am more stressed out than ever? No … that probably wasn’t part of His plan.

So yeah, there it is … if I don’t have an acceptable offer by March 31, I’m liquidating. I’ve told my staff and have told them that I’ll keep them updated on anything I find out. I know it’s hard for them to feel the uncertainty of the unknown … but I promised from the beginning that I would let them know everything.

I found out today that the guy with the low-ball offer, has another low-ball offer. It’s cash this time {at least}, but I’m faced with the decision now of knowing I’d probably make more {in dollars and in mental health} if I liquidate than I will if I take his offer. If I liquidate I’ll be done … walk away. If I take his offer, I’ll most likely be tied to the store for a while yet.

And in either case, we’ll be losing money, as I still owe the bank quite a bit of dough for the build out of the store’s new place {six years ago … wow, already six years!}.

So that’s that … I’m still praying on what to do, as these next few days will be important ones in the ‘{His}story’ of the store. If you feel the urge … I’d love for you to toss up a few words on my behalf with the big guy! ;)

Well … I guess that’s all for now. I could go on and on for a bit about the other things on my to-do list, but then I’d really be rambling … I’m still doing my best to get through everything and take it all in stride.

I think the most important thing for me right now is to watch the horizon and know that God has great things in store for me and my family … and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!