I asked my friend last night, “How long can you keep a kid in a crib?  High school?”

I can’t believe she’s three.  And she’s really a toddler now, isn’t she?  This last baby I so desperately wanted, but didn’t even know it.

I’d been blessed with three beautiful children.  Healthy.  Perfect.  Gifts from above.

I thought I was done.  I never, ever expected to have three children of my own.  I honestly thought I was done after Taylor.  But after Curt and I married … I don’t know.  I … we … had this urge to have children together.  The Lord super blessed us and allowed it to happen … twice {Piper & Wynter}.  I truly never expected another miracle after them.

But on May 5, 2004 {Curt’s birthday, and our anniversary}, I found out {surprise!} we were pregnant.  Only to lose the baby a few days later.  I didn’t know until that point that I wanted another baby so badly.  Truth is, I may have never known … if I hadn’t lost it.  Does that make sense?

I suddenly found myself on an urgent quest to have another child.  Sort of chasing after what we lost, I guess.

{hunter’s birth, april 10, 2006}

The next two years were rough.  We lost Curt’s father.  And 3 more babies.  And went through some other difficult personal trials.

After the first loss, we were overjoyed to find out we were expecting again!  When I was 10 weeks pregnant, I started bleeding.  I called the doctor who scheduled me to come in for an ultrasound … ironically, right after Curt and I finished our already scheduled interview with a new babysitter.

I went in for the ultrasound, but deep in my heart of hearts … I knew.  And as the tech couldn’t find a heartbeat and left us waiting in the room, while she found someone else to deliver the news, I already knew what was about to be said.  I just didn’t know the depths of sorrow I would feel over the next few weeks.  I was scheduled the next day, July 26 for a D&C.  Overwhelmed with sorrow.

We would go on to conceive twice more … only to lose them within days of finding out we were expecting.  I started to feel guilty for wanting another one so badly.  Maybe I didn’t deserve four children?  Maybe we should leave well enough alone?  Fold my hand and walk away …

The miracle to this story?

On July 26 … one year later {to the exact day}, we conceived this beautiful bundle of joy … Hunter Rose.

{my four miracles}

Precious.  And loved.  She’s the only of my girls that I nursed.  I feel such a bond to her.  I don’t know if it’s because of nursing her.  I don’t know if it’s because we worked so hard to get her.  I don’t know if it’s because I know she’s my last.  My baby forever?  But I do know she is loved beyond belief.

{taylor hoarding her while doing homework}

There’s something about Hunter that radiates smiles in others.  She’s a bundle of cuteness.  I can’t get enough of her … ever!  She and I have endured great things together.  Things I can’t talk about here, but things I will always have with her.  I believe she’s made me stronger.  I believe she’s made me deeper.

{hunter for her 1st birthday}

She started talking long after the age of her sisters.  Potty trained, long after the age of her sisters {by about a year! … should I admit that?}.  She’s still in her crib … again, considering I have no immediate plans to move her … long after the age of her sisters.

{hunter at her 2nd birthday}

I have yet to write a single word in Hunter’s baby book … not even her name graces the pages.  But hey, her life will be well documented in photos!  This little girl is fiercely independent.  She is a lover of music.  She dances {literally} to the beat of her own drum.  She pulls out her ‘baby’ card often and knows exactly how to use it!  “But I a bebe!”

{hunter at her 3rd birthday party, just this past friday}

Curt had been talking to Hunter for months about her next birthday.  Somehow they came up with the thought of having a bigggg princess cake!  So I did what any clever mom would do … put dad in charge of the cake … who proceeded to put his assistant in charge of the cake!  {thank you Cathy, what would we do without you?}  :)

I’m all for princess birthdays and such … but in my process of simplifying life {and coming home from being out of town for virtually 3 weeks}, I decided to put a spin on the ol’ princess theme.  We had a lovely little swimming/princess party at the local indoor pool.  Perfect, no?  There is nothing more satisfying than walking into your own {semi-clean} home after a birthday party, with nothing more to do than put the presents away!

Hunter loved her birthday party!  My highlight was watching her at the end of the kids pool … all by herself … dancing up a storm.  Pirouetting, arms in the air, kicking a leg out here and there … beautiful and magical … I couldn’t stop smiling.

{hunter yesterday in her new preschool class}

And even though I’m keeping her a baby for as long as I possibly can … she’s had some big milestones this last week.  She’s out of the nursery section at church and moved into a ‘big girl’ class.  And at daycare, she’s transitioned out of the toddler room and into a preschool class.  In fact, she has the same teacher Taylor had when she was in daycare!  I’ve requested this awesome teacher for both Piper & Wynter, but either the room was full or it just wasn’t the right timing.  So how fitting that my last baby would finally get into this room?

Hunter was up way earlier than I wanted this morning, and I slept way longer than I wanted.  So when I went in to get her, I scooped her up and carried her back into my bed.  I laid with her and loved on her and smiled at her.  She looked at me, smiling back … then she would sort of ‘pet’ me and sigh a little baby sigh.

I love this magical little girl.  She’s added so much to our already blessed lives.  She truly is a blessing, that I didn’t know I needed.  I love you Huntie J … you will always be my ‘bebe’ …

{you can find more photos from her birthday here}