holding on …

I love Emily’s blog, Chatting at the Sky. Love the blog title {it’s often what I feel like when I’m writing here}, love the design and love the inspiration I find there. On Tuesday’s, she has a series called Tuesdays Unwrapped … where we “have permission to take the time to unwrap the small, secret gift of the everyday.” I love that, but have never participated.

This past Tuesday, she talked about holding on, and asked the question, “do you have a life stage are you longing to hold onto?”

Um yeah, … as a matter of fact, I do. It comes in the form of a cuddly, sassy-mouthed, nukie-addicted, bundle-of-love who goes by the name of Hunter … sometimes Huntie J.

Here she is a month or so ago making her way to her new big-girl bed. She gathered up her most prized worldly treasures and headed to her new room.

Couldn’t you nibble on her forever!?!

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This is her bed. Empty. Waiting.

The other girls moved into their new room last November when the construction was complete. But it was just a little too early to move the ‘baby.’

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You see this steep ladder? That’s the main reason why she was too young to move. But the time had come and she was ready!

Piper was away on a sleepover, so Wynt was left to her lonesome. The girls had been playing in their room with big-bro, Odinn and it sort of occurred to me … “hey, Huntie, wanna sleep in your big girl bed tonight?”

Yep! She did!

I gave her strict instructions not to get out of bed by herself. To call me if she needed anything. And of course, that small warning … “no playing, right to sleep!” Uh-huh, they understood.

Or not.

Took forever for them to finally fall asleep. Only to awaken at 1:00am to a screaming baby. I went running into their room, fumbled up the stupid steep ladder to see what was the matter.

My baby wanted to go back to her crib. And guess what? Mama took her right back to her crib. I was even a little happy about it. Is that wrong?

I mean, if you want to get technical, I do have legitimate reasons for wanting her to stay in her crib. But I’m thinking it’d be pretty fruitless to try to convince you of those very good reasons. My guess is, you’d see right through those excuses reasons into my heart of hearts.

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We’ve tried one more time to move her into her bed … but she wasn’t having it. She wanted her crib.

It’s a little funny … all her clothes, toys, toothbrush, bath stuff … it’s all in her new room. The only thing left in the nursery is her crib. Well … and her nukies.

Which brings me to my next topic. The nukie. Binky. Pacifier. Passie. Soother. One family I know called it a no-no {as in, “no-no you can’t have that”}.

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Have you heard about our nukie party? We did it for the girls a few years back and we’re gonna try it tomorrow with Hunter. Here’s how it works … they go to the toy store and pick out what they want. We wrap it up, and on the day of the party, they get the gift in exchange for letting their nukie’s go.

Letting their nukie’s go, you ask?

CJ had a brilliant {seriously} idea of packaging all their nukies into a Ziploc with a note and some money {asking whoever found them to send the note back}. Then he tied it all to a ginormous “I mean business” weather balloon. Then we march them out to the middle of the yard {friends & family looking on}, they take the balloon and let it go!

Oh! and here’s a tid-bit of info … we’re not talking one or two nuks … we’re dealing with no less than 20some nukies here! They’re stashed all over the house … and I don’t think she sleeps with less than 10 at a time.

We get a cake inscribed with “good-bye nukies, we love you.” There’ll be a face painter, a bounce house … and of course friends and family.

I love this invite {thank you awesome designer Nellie!!} with photos of the other girls party.

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K, all that fun stuff aside … I seriously don’t know how she’s going to do it. I’m thinking, in the moment, she’ll want her gift more than caring about the finality of releasing her nukie’s. But I’m talking serious addiction here folks.

I’ll admit, I’ve been much more enabling lenient of her habit than dad. Here she is hiding her nukie {in mouth} from dad. Sometimes she’ll walk around with her hand over her mouth thinking he can’t see it.

My heart is swelling just thinking of it …

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And here she is one morning after waking up … with just a small sampling of her stash.

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How in the world is this girl going to give up her habit? Does anyone know of a nukie anonymous program? What about something for nukie enablers? Sigh …

So the title of this post is ‘holding on …’ Don’t suppose I need to go into it, do I? Oh, alright, I will … :)

I absolutely want time to stand still. There I said it. I don’t want my baby to be a big girl. I finally started calling her a toddler when Tiffany, ever so gently, informed me she’s really not a toddler anymore either. How in the world did I skip that stage?

This is the last. My “bebe.” And yes, I take secret pleasure when she calls herself a “bebe.”

Why do we have to be in such a hurry for our kids to grow up? 5 year old girls shouldn’t be watching Hannah Montana and dressing up like rock stars {fo’ realz!}. We wonder why and how kids are growing up so fast these days … it’s cuz we push them. I’ve been guilty of it. And frankly, sometimes it’s just easier to say ‘okay’ than to fight with them about getting a cell phone before they’re 13 like you said they had to be. Ahem … just sayin’ …

My kids were all pretty early walkers, 3 of them before they were a year old {Hunter included}. Potty trained shortly after 2 years old. In big girl beds shortly after 2 years old. No longer using sippy cups, trained to say their ABC’s, etc., etc. All those milestones a mom could brag about to her friends.

But with Hunt … I just don’t want her to grow up. I kept her in diapers way too long … in fact, she’s still in training underpants. It’s like my last hur-rah … don’t judge me! ;)

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I really felt the sting when we recently put away the training potty’s. I was even going to take a photo of my bathroom and the empty space where the little potty use to sit. But that would be pathetic, wouldn’t it? :)

I know I’ve gotta let go. And I will. All I’m saying is … I don’t think it’s wrong to take your time. Maybe we need to do that more often. Nurture our children. Savor each age, each milestone … not rush for one to be over so we can move to the next. Right? Do I hear an amen! Anyone? Anyone?

I mean seriously, aren’t they driving and in college before we know it? And they won’t be starting high school in training pants! Or do you think I could pull that off? ;)

I digress …

Hunter’ll be starting school in less than a month from now. She’ll be going to the same school as her big sisters {minus Tay}. She’ll be in the same room Wynter’s leaving. Piper was there for two years, then Wynt, and now Hunter. She’ll be in good hands with Mr. Mrs. Rodgers {Hunter calls her Mr. Rodgers … and again! I can’t bring myself to correct her … it’s too cute!}.

Huntie’s new backpack arrived the other day. Nothing like a pink & green dose of reality in a box from Pottery Barn Kids to help a mom to let go …

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51 Comments

  1. Heather July 31, 2009 at 7:01 am

    Good Luck to “baby” Hunter tomorrow! Wish we could be there to support her big change! I think you’re right about rushing things…as I was told when my lovely slow poke was taking her time (probably be you), they won’t get married with no teeth wearing diapers! :-) Might as well savor the baby stages…and she seems fine with that too! I think there is a big difference between holding on and holding back…and you & Hunter seem to have an agreed upon middle ground! :-)

    Reply
  2. Leslie July 31, 2009 at 8:08 am

    Oh dear . . . the pangs of letting go are so hard! I completely understand wanting to hang on to Hunter’s baby-ness! (It has been brought to my attention that I did/do that with Meg!) Even knowing that our job as parents is to bring children into this world to let them go is hard to accept! That said, I think your nukie-release party is a great idea! If Huntie is ready to be a big girl in that regard, then smile through the tears, Momma! She’ll probably adapt to it better than you. ;-) (Again, I speak from experience.) Perhaps you could hang onto one nukie and put it into a safe, secret place so that years from now you can add it to her memento box as a reminder of her former addiction. We did that with Meg, and she loves her little treasure!

    Reply
  3. Amy July 31, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Oh my goodness. This was a tearful post. I am SO with you. I would sleep with my Mally girl every night if I could. It is SO hard to let go of that baby stage. The nuckie party is such a great idea and will be a wonderful way for her to say goodbye.

    As a side, did Wynter and Piper have their parties on the same day?

    Reply
  4. Lauren July 31, 2009 at 8:57 am

    I’m not there yet with Kaitlyn and I’m torn between wanting to have her potty trained by the time the baby gets here end of January or just letting her do her own thing. She’s so, so smart and yet she’s taking her fine time with things. She’ll be 2 in a couple weeks (OMG!) but she’s not talking very much right now – and while I want to get her to the sentences and conversations and sing-songs, I guess I need to just let her advance at her own pace. I don’t want to wish away these moments. She’s still all giggles and babbles and little phrases.

    She’s sooooooooo independent, too. She doesn’t sleep with us EVER and she’s not big on cuddling (unless she is sick) and she doesn’t have any comfort objects – just whatever is soft and nearby. No nukies in our family, she never cared for them.

    I have saved every piece of clothing she’s owned. Now I can excuse it by saying, “Well, this baby might be a girl!” I still have a special box of things that I’ll never give away ever. It kills me to have to buy shoes in new sizes.

    I know know how you did this with four girls. I’m still on baby #1 and I have no idea how to let go of her baby things, even with another one to be the baby for me coming up.

    Reply
  5. Lisa Mahnke July 31, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Amen to it all! I would keep her a baby as long as I could too! Somehow it is not working with my soon to be 15 year old!!! Oh how I long for when they were little…

    Reply
  6. Kelli July 31, 2009 at 11:50 am

    Oh..I know that stage all too well! Mine are 5, soon to be 4 and of course 6 months..We had Sam’s 5th bday the other day and it was so bittersweet. I tell myself that ALL the time. I really just need to let them “be”. Not that I nag or push..but I think as parents we all can attest to subconsciously pushing our little ones to grow up. I really think that was part of the reason I had another (well two)..I didn’t want to have all the firsts be gone. I really wish at times I could freeze time and stay in this stage forever. It all goes by way too fast. Sighhhh..Great post Tracie! Oh, by the way, I didi the paci thing and it was teh hardest thing..I think I was more bent out of shape than Sam.

    Reply
  7. kira July 31, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    You have an amen! Parenthood is joyful and heartwrenching wrapped into one amazing experience. Lovely post once again!

    Reply
  8. Tiffany July 31, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    Amen to all of it! We do need to slow down & enjoy more. I still love sleeping with both of my kids & holding their feet. Weird, I know, but I just love holding onto their tiny toes.

    It is so hard to say good-bye to something so permanent(i.e. nukies going up into the sky). Most stages just slowly go away & we don’t even realize that it is over, so there is no huge adjustment.

    I’ll look into a Mommy’s Anonymous program for you Tra? Don’t forget you can cry on our shoulder’s anytime!

    Reply
  9. emily August 4, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    oh, those photos are spectacular. And I have to say, I’m with you. No harm done in letting them take their time :) And giving this mommy some time, too. Kindergarten is getting waaay too close. How did the binky party turn out?

    Reply
  10. Chesh August 5, 2009 at 8:02 am

    Well written and perfectly put. I. FEEL. YOUR. PAIN! Every day that passes, every moment, every heartbeat is one that is going to be gone forever. Part of me wants to hold onto these with grasping fingers – but there is another part. A part that is full of excitement to see what comes next. Being a mom is SO hard!

    Reply
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