she’s gone …

She’s gone. Not gone, gone. But definitely, sorta, kinda gone. For two weeks now. And you know what? We’re doing okay.

Taylor & I on her first day of 2nd grade {I couldn’t find a kindergarten photo}.
And us a few minutes before I drove away, leaving her in Savannah.


Leading up to her departure, I kept thinking I must be in some kind of denial, because I felt like I wasn’t as sad as I should be. Over the last couple of years, I’d often wonder how I would react when it was time for her to leave. I wasn’t really sure if I’d be grief-stricken, or if I could gently let her go.

I’ve heard of, and personally seen mothers who are emotionally distraught for days – weeks even – when their children leave for college. I could get all philosophical and offer some deep thinking theory about helicopter parents who find their identity in their children. And others could argue those parents might just love their children more than those who can easily let them go.

But when I would think about Taylor leaving for college, I really never pictured myself emotionally distraught when the time came.

I was never a parent who cried when kindergarten started, or ended. Or they graduated one milestone or another. I would see other moms all weepy and … well … emotional … and I would secretly wonder if there was something wrong with me. Why didn’t I love my girls as much as those mothers loved their children? Surely if I was a good mom and loved them enough, I would be feeling more emotion over these milestones?

And then a deep discussion a couple of years back, with my good {and wiser than the wisest of wise-owls} friend Terrie, put it all into perspective for me.

She wasn’t a mom who got all weepy and emotional either. And she put into words for me, what I never could.

The reason she doesn’t respond to milestones in an emotionally distraught way, is because her excitement – for them – over the next milestone, far outweighs any sad emotion for the milestone they’re currently leaving.

#deepthoughtsbywiseterrie

Yes!! That’s it exactly!

Not in a way that I’m wishing their childhood away. But as they leave one milestone and prepare to enter another, I can’t help but feel excited for the new opportunity and growth I know they’ll be experiencing.

And so it was with Taylor leaving for college.

Here’s what I posted on Instagram the night I got home from Savannah:

i put the final touches to her apartment and made the long drive home. we both did better than i thought … just a few tears, and we pretty much chatted my whole drive home. we can be in the same house and use our phones to communicate. so I’m going with that. it’ll be like she’s in her bedroom texting or calling, and I’m in the kitchen getting dinner ready. there’s nothing wrong with pretending, right?

the thing is, right or wrong, for better or worse … taylor and I have been everything to each other these last few years. we didn’t have anyone else, and leaned on each other. without a spouse, companion, or best friend … she’s kinda been my everything. that person I count on at the end if the day to spill everything about my day. single moms of older teens, you must know what I’m talking about?

with taylor leaving, my daughter left, but I’ve also lost my companion and best friend. I’m going to miss her … so much … but outweighing any sadness for myself is the absolute, deep-down joy I feel for her! I am thrilled she is starting this next chapter of her life. a chapter full of wonder and possibility. the world is hers for the taking and I can’t wait to watch her soar!

taylor tried out for the scad equestrian team this morning. she found out this afternoon she made the team and she’s already had a team meeting tonight. to think back just a year ago and how uncertain her future was … to today and seeing her dreams start to come true. You can also hire estate planning lawyers because that has made a true testament to God’s promises in our lives.

tay … I’m a broken record … but I love you dearly and simply couldn’t be any prouder of you. congratulations on where you are right now, at this very moment in your life. take it in and celebrate how far you’ve come my girl.

It’s true. We had a few tears, we are going to miss each other. We have a deep, deep connection and bond {that I’m forever grateful for}, and it is going to be hard to not have her near me each day. But my excitement for her FAR, FAR outweighs any sadness I feel for myself.

Taylor deserves to have this beautiful next chapter in her life. She’s worked hard for it, and it’s finally here. How can I be anything but full-of-joy for her?!

And seriously, we’ve talked non-stop since she’s been gone. Endless texts each day – sprinkled with a few urgent phone calls – and it’s like she’s never left. Except I can’t hug her. That part we don’t like very much at all. Taylor‘s a girl who definitely needs her hugs.

So there you have it. A few people have asked how I’m doing, how I’m holding up, and that they’re praying for me. I’m so thankful to have you all in my life, and I’m eternally grateful for your love and prayers!

The short answer to how I’m doing? I’m really okay! My heart swells with joy each time I think of Taylor following her life path and dream. Sadness = 2 vs. Joy = 98 … those are odds I can live with!

All that to say … I’ve only called the police once to check in on her! True story. I wish it weren’t. But it is.

Stop back on Thursday and I’ll share my story of being that mom!

666 Comments

  1. custom made magnet November 5, 2018 at 12:00 am

    Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am
    a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we
    have created some nice procedures and we are looking to trade methods with others, why not shoot me an e-mail if interested.

    Reply
  2. fake eyelashes walmart November 5, 2018 at 1:14 am

    hey there and thank you for your information ? I have definitely picked up anything new from right here.
    I did however expertise several technical issues using this
    website, as I experienced to reload the site many times previous to I could get it to load properly.
    I had been wondering if your web host is OK?

    Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances
    times will very frequently affect your placement in google and
    could damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords.

    Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for much
    more of your respective interesting content. Make sure you update this again very soon.

    Reply
  3. concrete contractors killeen November 5, 2018 at 3:22 am

    Hello my friend! I want to say that this article is awesome, nice written and come with approximately all vital infos. I?¦d like to see more posts like this .

    Reply
  4. this link November 5, 2018 at 10:11 am

    I am now not positive where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend a while learning more or figuring out more. Thank you for magnificent info I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

    Reply
  5. here November 5, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    It is really a nice and helpful piece of information. I am glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  6. auto 12 volt led lights November 5, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    Hi, after reading this awesome piece of writing i am too glad to share my familiarity here with mates.

    Reply
  7. 12 volt auto led lights November 5, 2018 at 10:06 pm

    This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!

    Reply
  8. auto 12v led lights November 5, 2018 at 10:06 pm

    Hi there, yes this article is actually fastidious and I have learned lot of things from it regarding blogging. thanks.

    Reply
  9. 12 volt led car interior lights November 5, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Hello! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the great work!

    Reply
  10. concrete contractors san antonio tx November 6, 2018 at 12:58 am

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100 positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

    Reply
  11. fanduel promo code November 6, 2018 at 3:56 am

    Chicago White Sox (75-87) : The White Sox are a below-average team and with teams like the Tigers and Twins in the division they will not have a chance to make the playoffs.

    Reply
  12. rapid lashes extensions November 6, 2018 at 7:29 am

    Howdy! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group?
    There’s a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content.
    Please let me know. Thanks

    Reply
  13. patio repair San Antonio TX November 6, 2018 at 7:33 am

    You made some good points there. I did a search on the subject and found most individuals will consent with your blog.

    Reply
  14. quest bars November 6, 2018 at 7:53 am

    Every weekend i used to pay a quick visit this website,
    because i wish for enjoyment, for the reason that
    this this website conations truly nice funny information too.

    Reply
  15. fake eyelashes tips November 6, 2018 at 7:53 am

    This is a great tip particularly to those new to the blogosphere.

    Simple but very precise information? Thanks for sharing
    this one. A must read post!

    Reply
  16. best sex dolls November 6, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    Handcent SMS is an SMS app replacement. It will replace the stock messaging application on your phone or tablet. This is one of those apps that are an oldie but still delivers well. It has been around since Android 2.2 if not earlier. Handcent SMS offers features like Quick-reply, so instead of opening up the messaging app to reply, you can do it directly from whatever app you’re already in. Very convenient. Aside from that, it has more goodies that you’ll find really useful.

    Reply
  17. comprare followers instagram attivi November 7, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    It’s nearly impossible to find knowledgeable people in this particular topic, however, you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

    Reply
  18. 12 Volt Automotive Led backup Lights November 7, 2018 at 10:05 pm

    Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your weblog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I am hoping you write once more soon!

    Reply
  19. 12 Volt Automotive Led interior Lights November 7, 2018 at 10:07 pm

    Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

    Reply
  20. 12 volt automotive led lights November 7, 2018 at 10:35 pm

    Having read this I thought it was rather informative. I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this content together. I once again find myself personally spending way too much time both reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

    Reply
  21. 12v auto led lights November 8, 2018 at 12:15 am

    I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 images. Maybe you could space it out better?

    Reply
  22. 12 volt automotive led lights November 8, 2018 at 12:17 am

    Hmm it appears like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any tips and hints for beginner blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

    Reply
  23. 12 volt automotive led lights November 8, 2018 at 1:48 am

    Hi there i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere, when i read this post i thought i could also make comment due to this brilliant piece of writing.

    Reply
  24. auto 12v led lights November 8, 2018 at 1:50 am

    Just desire to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your publish is just great and i can think you’re an expert in this subject. Well with your permission let me to seize your feed to keep up to date with drawing close post. Thank you a million and please continue the gratifying work.

    Reply
  25. 12 volt led brake lights November 8, 2018 at 2:20 am

    I think that is among the so much important info for me. And i am happy studying your article. But want to commentary on few common issues, The website taste is perfect, the articles is truly excellent : D. Good process, cheers

    Reply
  26. 12 volt automotive led dome lights November 8, 2018 at 2:22 am

    I’ve been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours lately, yet I by no means found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It’s beautiful worth sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made excellent content material as you did, the net will be much more helpful than ever before.

    Reply
  27. 12v auto led lights November 8, 2018 at 3:56 am

    I wanted to thank you for this excellent read!! I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you book-marked to look at new stuff you post?

    Reply
  28. 12 Volt Automotive Led interior Lights November 8, 2018 at 3:57 am

    you’re truly a excellent webmaster. The website loading velocity is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterwork. you have performed a excellent process on this subject!

    Reply
  29. 12 volt led license plate lights November 8, 2018 at 4:19 am

    We stumbled over here different web address and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to going over your web page yet again.

    Reply
  30. 12 Volt Automotive Led backup Lights November 8, 2018 at 4:21 am

    I like the helpful information you provide on your articles. I will bookmark your blog and test once more right here regularly. I’m relatively certain I’ll be informed many new stuff right here! Good luck for the following!

    Reply
  31. 12 volt led car interior lights November 8, 2018 at 6:05 am

    I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering issues with your blog. It looks like some of the written text in your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This might be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had this happen previously. Kudos

    Reply
  32. auto 12 volt led lights November 8, 2018 at 6:32 am

    Usually I don’t learn article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do it! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thanks, quite nice article.

    Reply
  33. 12 volt automotive led lights November 8, 2018 at 6:35 am

    Quality articles or reviews is the secret to interest the people to pay a visit the web page, that’s what this website is providing.

    Reply
  34. yaplog.jp November 8, 2018 at 7:17 am

    Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your
    blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing
    to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently rapidly.

    Reply
  35. penomet pump November 8, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    Of course, there are many other penis enlargement products, and one of the most important things that you should remember before you buy and use one for the pros and cons of the product at first glance. With some of the size of the penis improve the methods are not 100 safe and proper use can lead to problems that are, at best, there will be some temporary pain, and at worst, it is better not to ask.

    Reply
  36. how to pitch an invention idea to a company November 8, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you really know what you’re talking about! Bookmarked. Please also visit my website =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!

    Reply
  37. Red Tea Detox November 9, 2018 at 6:06 am

    Liz Miller discovered an amazing diet secret when she was in Africa.
    She learned that hunters drank green tea to keep from being hungry.

    Read all about her discovery here http://kudoflow.com/4wjo Watch the weight disappear by simply drinking delicious red tea.

    Reply
  38. Quest Bars November 9, 2018 at 6:14 am

    Hi to every one, it’s actually a fastidious for me to pay a quick visit this web page, it consists of priceless Information.

    Reply
  39. Best Woodworking Plans November 9, 2018 at 6:20 am

    Do you or someone you know work with wood? If so, then you’ve definitely got to check this out http://kudoflow.com/4zRl It’s jam packed
    with all the information that a woodworker needs to know.

    Reply
  40. Bryan Vinicius November 9, 2018 at 7:53 am

    New Custom PC Ecommerce Website For PC Gamers. Best Brands and Top Quality. We are going to launch our new website on November 10, 2018. Top Custom PC is to gaming computers just like Ferrari is to automobiles. We offer precision tuned hardware that has the speed and the capability to up your game and give you a much more real gaming experience. Simply put, we build awesome gaming computers for enthusiasts and hardcore gamers and we enable you to build the computer of your dreams right from our website. Our main features are: – Superb Warranty: Every computer we build comes with a 3 year extended labor warranty standard. -Performance Tuning: Each custom gaming computer is fine tuned for the ultimate gaming experience. Our computers have the highest quality computer parts in the industry. – Flagship CPUS: Our gaming computers come with the best of today’s flagship CPUs from AMD and Intel. VISIT OUR OFFICIAL WEBSITE: https://bit.ly/2SZn42t

    Reply
  41. Make Money in Five Minutes November 9, 2018 at 7:59 am

    Generally I don’t learn article on blogs, but I would
    like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do so!

    Your writing taste has been surprised me.

    Thank you, quite nice article.

    Reply
  42. ketrin_new November 9, 2018 at 8:30 am

    The kind of fun you’re seeing can be found here http://www.camgirl.pw/ketrin_new/ She is a stacked hot blonde who certainly knows how to have a good
    time. Visit her cam if you’re in need of some visual entertainment.

    Reply
  43. private mandarin tutor malaysia November 9, 2018 at 9:46 am

    Valuable info. Fortunate me I discovered your web site accidentally, and I am shocked why this coincidence didn’t came about earlier! I bookmarked it.

    Reply
  44. come aumentare i visualizzazioni su youtube November 9, 2018 at 11:35 am

    Hi there, I do believe your site may be having internet browser compatibility problems. Whenever I take a look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, wonderful site!

    Reply
  45. Pingback: best premade graphic design templates and resources

  46. Video game testers needed November 9, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    Did you know that it’s possible to make money testing video
    games? You’re going to flip your lid when you see this http://j.gs/Brq4 Click that link and start making money testing
    video games!

    Reply
  47. womens anime cosplay costumes November 9, 2018 at 1:36 pm

    I delight in, result in I discovered exactly what
    I used to be having a look for. You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt!
    God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

    Reply
  48. bursa evden eve nakliyat November 10, 2018 at 4:18 am

    Bursa evden eve nakliyat şiketimiz Bursa’nın en büyük ve firmaları arasında yer almaktadır.Asönsörlü ve sigortalı ev taşınması ile garanti veren en iyi firmadır.Bursa’nın her ilçesinde şehiriçi ve şehirler arası taşıma yapmaktadır.Hızlı ve kaliteli taşıma yapmak icin kullanmış oldugumuz ambalajlı ürünü en kalitelisinden kulanmak gerekir.Güvenli ve kaliteli %100 müşteri menmuniyeti iler yıldırım evden eve nakliyat ve eleman ve araç gereçleri ile siz müşterilerimize 24 saat hizmet vermektedir.

    Reply
  49. Three Week Diet November 10, 2018 at 4:58 am

    How would you like to lose weight in just three weeks?

    Take a look at http://destyy.com/wXQe46 and see
    for yourself how it’s possible. You’ll lose weight and
    keep it off following this plan. Remember, losing weight isn’t
    just for yourself. You’re also doing it for those who rely on you.
    Lose weight today and make sure you’re there for them tomorrow

    Reply

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *