I’ve just got home from dropping miss teenager off on her first of school … at her new school.  I. am. just. so proud of her.  I think this tweet from CJ says it all “Way to go tay!… I’m proud that you have been really strong and surefooted with your decision..”

I know I’ve talked about it many times before, but she’s been at the same school with the same friends since she started school in Kindergarten.  So to decide to make this jump … all by herself, not knowing anyone else … was huge for her.

She’s quiet, shy and not the most outgoing in the bunch.  But she was excited for this chance … this fresh start.  And I’m excited for her.

We stopped by Starbucks on our way … me, iced mocha, with whip … tay, vanilla bean, no whip.  She has a highly heightened fear of whip cream.  Whatev, I’ll take her extra! ;)

Then a crazy dance party in the car …

We nervously pull into the parking lot … yes we.  See, I have this uncanny ability to deeply feel any emotion my children are feeling.  That’s my job, though, isn’t it?

Then we nervously walked into school.  Come on, it’s a new school and our freshman year!  First year of high school in a new school.  Of course we’re nervous!

Unfortunately, we missed any open houses and orientations … so there was still a lot of paperwork to be gotten and filled out.  We also needed her schedule and to figure out where her classes were.

We found her first class.  Then she wanted to walk to find a girl we’d just met last night …

See … this could potentially be a logistical nightmare for us … getting Taylor to and from school.  She starts and ends a half hour before our other girls do.  And her school is a half hour away from our home.  I think I’ve come up with a good plan and schedule … one part of the plan involves using a carpool one day a week.

So late last night, we went over to the family’s house to meet and talk with them.  The mother is a teacher at the school and has four children that attend.  In fact, Taylor will have her as a teacher for her yearbook class … so that’s kinda cool.  She was a super easy going and laid back lady.  Another bonus … she has a 14 year old daughter starting 9th grade too.  She was really nice to Taylor and said she’d show her around and introduce her to people.

So Taylor was desperately looking forward to finding her this morning.

I wasn’t sure what Taylor wanted me to do.  The halls were filling up quickly with students and I wasn’t too sure she wanted ol’ mom {ahem, please do not read that as old} hanging around with her!  The guidance counselor showed us to Tay’s first class and we waited in there a bit.  The room was empty.  And Tay decided she wanted to see if we could find Lauren.

“Do you want me to leave, or stay with you?”  I asked.

“Walk the halls with me?”  She answered.

“Oh baby … you just made me the happiest mama in the world”  I replied in my head.

Only thing is … I sort of kept stopping and looking around.  And she’d poke me and tell me to walk, not just stand there.  I’m not sure I did the best job of ‘playin’ it cool’ … but I tried.

We found Lauren.  I said good-bye.  And off I went … just like that.  Left my baby to explore her own adventure … make her own path … write her own story.

I think leaving her this morning was harder on me than it will be to leave the 3 year old on Wednesday.

To my Tay-Tay:

Wow, not sure where these tears are suddenly coming from … but I need to tell you how proud I am of you.  How much I love and admire you.  I know this wasn’t an easy decision.  And I know it’s not an easy feat.  To go into a new school, a new surrounding … the unknown.

But you knew what you wanted and you haven’t wavered.  For that, I’m so proud of you.

I pray Taylor, that you use this opportunity for all that presents itself.  A new beginning for you … a fresh start … take advantage of it and enjoy every minute.

I pray God guides you … I pray you listen.  I pray you stay true to yourself.  I pray you trust yourself.  I pray you believe in yourself and all that you can be.

I want so much for you … but more than that … I want you. to want. so much for yourself.

I love you with all my heart Tay … you’ll forever be my baby.

With love, your {in coolness & dorkiness} mama forever …