I firmly believe a great many prayers are not answered
because we are not willing to forgive someone.
~ D.L. Moody
A life-changing lesson I’ve learned, the hard way I might add, is to stay out of the way of God working in someone’s life. It took me a few times—when the same situation occurred time and again—to truly forgive. When the situation first happened, I said I forgave, but when the situation happened again, I realized my forgiveness was far from a heart decision.
Through a lot of prayer, leaning on, and trusting God, true forgiveness finally came into my heart. It was only then that I was able to see God’s heavenly work begin.
When we harbor unforgiveness, we end up being a barrier to God’s work. <– tweet this We try to control the situation the way we think it should go and in the process interrupt any heavenly healing that might need to take place.
Why did it take me so long to finally get it? Quite honestly, I didn’t want that person to think what he’d done was okay. And if I forgave and moved on like nothing happened, certainly I’d be condoning the behavior.
What I didn’t understand at the time is forgiveness is for me. Forgiveness freed me from bitterness and anger. And ultimately, allowed God to work in the situation.
If we allow God to work in our situations, redemption is possible. I’d go so far as to say it’s not just possible . . . but probable.
Of course each of our situations is very different. It’s quite possible the person you’re faced with doesn’t want help and doesn’t want to change. That’s going to be an individual decision based on your unique situation.
You know the saying, “Are you sorry you got caught? Or are you sorry for what you’ve done?”
The following verse has been pivotal in my own life and experiences:
For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience
leads us away from sin and results in salvation.
There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow.
But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance
results in spiritual death.
2 Corinthians 7:10 {NLT}
If you’re confused or wondering if someone has truly changed, I encourage you to pray and meditate over the above verse.
Don’t hear me wrong though, regardless of the condition of someone’s heart, we are still required to forgive. If someone isn’t showing true repentance, it’s not our place to judge or condemn—we’re still required to forgive.
Lord, help us to realize You desire to work all things for our good. Help us to hand our situations over to You and step aside, trusting You to work. Father, we pray for godly repentance leading to redemption. But Lord if it’s not in Your great plan, we pray for peace and faith knowing You are at work. Thank you Father for Your promises.
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I am learning so much from this study. I have forgiven people with my mouth and not with my heart–what good is that?? I have forgiven people with my heart also. There is one person that I’m not truly able to forgive for the many hurts he has done to me….which I feel were intentional. He is so sick now with terrible illnesses and there is no coming back from either one. Was he sick all this time or was he just wanting to hurt me, so he could control me???? It does eat at me, and I need to get beyond the past and look forward to peace in my future. I do not condone (nice word) how he treated me and when I did start standing up to him, he didn’t like it. I just need to get THE forgiving done–to let it go and have peace in my heart. It can’t be undone—the only thing that will make me feel better is forgiving him. I really need help with that.
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