I received the following comment from this post:

“This is a big question a lot of people must struggle with. Mostly I get that God is not responsible for a lot of the bad and there is free choice, etc. I know I don’t understand it all. But it really is hard to wrap my head around when a child gets really ill, or someone who spent their life helping others suffers. Why???”

Obviously, I don’t have the answer to that.  But what I can do, is try to shed light on a new way to look at it.

Let me share a few more things about my sweet angel, Emily.  I’m the first to admit I was having a really hard time understanding why she died.  Even in all my “faithfulness” and beliefs, I was quite angry at God.  I mean, come on … a FOURTEEN year old girl?  When it was during her service, I heard her dad say {paraphrasing}, “We don’t know why, but maybe Emily is being saved from something bigger that we can’t see.”  Emily was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes when she was in first grade.  Her death was unrelated to that … but the statement her dad made really had an impact on me.

And again … I think it goes back to “we don’t know how He’s knitting it all together.”

It reminds me of another illustration I’ve seen {but for the life of me, can’t find it!} … a man is getting hit with little pebbles … one, two, ten … but they’re relatively small, and he’s annoyed.  Questioning God.  What he doesn’t see is that God is standing, straining against a HUGE boulder that’s headed towards the man.

And yes … we could definitely argue that losing your 14 year old child is a pretty huge “boulder.”  But I would ask you think of a greater suffering that child may have endured in her life.  We can’t possibly know … in fact, we aren’t supposed to know.

I believe God will bring us to a place where we are dependent on Him.  Where having faith in Him is the only choice.  And I believe when we have the faith to fully rely on His plan … blessings we couldn’t even begin to fathom, will flow abundantly …

There’s one last comment from the other day that I’d like to share with you:

“…and Job cried aloud, ‘Though you slay me, I will love you.’  And God stayed satan’s hand and restored to Job all that had been taken and much more. Job moved from ‘believing’ to ‘knowing’: from total surrender, came total victory; and from total victory comes this total peace.”

Total surrender.

Total victory.

Total peace.

I know this all to be true.  Join me over the next few days as I share how through my family’s faithfulness to Him … He’s been faithful to us.

One last thing.  I love Stephen Curtis Chapman.  His faith.  His music.  His story.  I feel compelled to share this video with you.  I haven’t read this book, but I’m looking into it!

God Is God
:: Stephen Curtis Chapman ::

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

:: chorus ::
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

:: chorus ::

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

:: chorus ::

{read 31 days of faith from the beginning}