That’s what I am.

Those were my doctor’s parting words this morning {after a two hour appointment!}. Not super encouraging.

Be warned: this post may be long, over-informative, and a jumbled mess of thoughts.

Do I have MS? Not at this time. Quote: “I don’t think that you fulfill diagnostic criteria for definite multiple sclerosis. I recommend that you undergo a repeat brain MRI in 6 months to look for signs of multiple sclerosis.”

He gave me an awesome print out of his notes … along with an email address! He was a great doc and I feel confident with his care.

He’s going to contact Mayo for the MRI they did and review it. He even said, “it’s not like I’m going to find something they missed, but I’d like to take a look and see what they did exactly.”

There’s a certain MRI of the thoracic spinal cord that he’s interested in. If they didn’t do it up there, he’d like to do it here. There is a lesion that could show up in that area, that would definitely cause the symptoms I’m having.

I’ve also got a bladder ‘thing’ that I didn’t really realize was an issue.

Okay, and then say they did in fact do an MRI of that particular area and it comes up clean … there’s a possibility I could have something called ‘autonomic neuropathy.’ There’s a super strange 3 hour test that can be done, but he doesn’t want to do it at this point. {oh! and no spinal tap or anything else at this point}.

He did a bunch of blood work to test for some other possible things and will let me know if he finds anything out.

So … overall? So glad there is no MS diagnosis. Overall? Frustrated that “I’m a mystery.”

I think as women {and maybe I’m only speaking for myself here}, we tend to ‘put up’ with our symptoms and deal with them. Always feeling a bit ‘blown off’ by doctors. I can’t tell you how many times doctors {including ER docs} have told me, “You’re stressed. You’re tired. You have a new baby. You have a business. Try to get some rest.” Blah!!

When talking to my neurologist at my recent appointment, I told her because I’m used to being blown off, I’m apprehensive to list off every symptom I’ve been having … now and in the past, that could be relative to what I’m going through right now.

Her reply was awesome! She completely agrees and even lectures to that fact. She says men hate her lectures and women applaud her. If a man were to walk in the ER with some of the symptoms I have, or women have … they’d immediately be hooked up to EKG’s, tested, etc., etc. But we women, are told we’re stressed.

I think it sucks. And it also makes me not want to admit to anything going on. Does that make sense?

Blah.

Again … I’m super, super happy things look good right now {honestly, praise God and thank you for all your prayers!!}. But just frustrated that I know I feel something going on and not being able to get to the bottom of it.

I do trust God has this in his hands, with his timing, and his diagnosis. I will ‘give it to him.’

And in the meantime, I am going to get my butt moving. I am motivated to start moving. Jenny, your twitter helped me with that today! I need to ‘healthy’ up my life … not to mention that triathlon will be here before I know it!!

And after all that ranting, I should reiterate, I’m very confident in the care that I’m receiving and the doctors I’m seeing. They haven’t blown me off and seem very interested in getting to the bottom of everything for me.

I am blessed. {sometimes I just need to let off a little steam …}