Oh my word! So I’m talking to CJ at the end of the first day of the workshop and here’s how I end my description of the day … “and many tears were cried!” Let me explain …

As I mentioned previously, I’m in San Fransisco right now at a Discovery Workshop, given by Me Ra Koh.

Here’s Webster’s definition of the word discover … “find something or someone unexpectedly or in the course of a search.”

Discover, I did.

It started with an assignment coming into the workshop … take a self-portrait. It didn’t have to be that literal, in that it needed to be a photo of ourselves. The directions explained that the photo could be of a rock … as long as we could describe why that rock represented us and where we are right now in our lives.

As I was reading through the description of the assignment, I knew right away the photo would be of my children. I am in a place in my life where my family means everything to me. I’m leaving so much behind as I take this giant leap forward to put them in the forefront of my mind, my heart and my priorities. Everything I’m doing right now is a reflection of that desire.

Just thinking about what the self-portrait meant to me, got me all teary-eyed.

So the first day of the workshop, they break us into small groups with one instructor in each group. I should mention that along with Me Ra and her husband Brian, Rick Chapman and Garrett Burdick guided us along this journey … amazing leaders!

Back to the self-portrait and small groups … they put us in groups of five, including an instructor. Me Ra is in my group … thank goodness! I thought I would hold it together when explaining my portrait … yeah, not such a good job of that. I’m talking … ugly cry, trembling mouth so that I can’t talk, and … snot {with no Kleenex in sight!}. I think I would’ve crawled into a hole if one of the guys were in my group.

Anyway.

After those sessions and lunch, we did some creative movement exercises … just loosing up and getting our minds free of any ‘clutter.’ Then … we were given a large sheet of drawing paper and cray-pas! What the heck? I thought this was a photography workshop!?

We were told to put anything on the page. We didn’t have to draw a thing. It could just be color. Or scribbles. Or whatever moved us. But just pick up a color and let it loose on the page. Alrighty … I’m game.

I find a comfy place and pick the color blue. Hmm. Then I draw a cloud. And a few more. Then some water. Really not sure what I’m up to here, I start filling in the water with solid color {I felt like I really knew what I was doing when I took the wrapper off my color!}.

As I’m wasting time filling in the water … it comes to me. I add sand. And a beach. And starfish. {and now I’m crying as I’m recalling drawing this} And suddenly, I realize I’m drawing Exuma. {I’ve mentioned many times what Exuma means to me. How much peace I feel when we visit.}

So when we’re done with our drawings, we gather back around and are told we’re going to analyze them. We need to make three lists. One that says what we see when we look at our drawing. One that says what we feel. And one that says what we imagine. When we were done, we needed to circle one word in each list that resonated strongest for us. My words were peace, serene, and openness.

Then … we needed to write a sentence starting with the words I am.

My sentence read, “I am needing more peace, serenity and openness in my life.” Hmm. I found it odd how that related back to my self-portrait and the feelings that invoked for me.

After that exercise, we were asked to take our cameras outside … with our sentences in mind, and shoot something that spoke to our sentence. It was rainy and foggy and I really wasn’t sure what I could shoot. I thought of the sky. I thought of the vast expanse in front of our hotel that looked over the Bay. I found beautiful large trees. I found an ‘obvious’ shot of 2 adirondack chairs sitting under a large tree … I spent a good amount of time shooting them. But found they were uninspiring and left me empty.

Our time was about up, and I headed toward the meeting room still looking for something. As I looked out into the Bay and started shooting, I decided to get down low. I pretty much laid in the grass and shot through the grass and into the open expanse. The shot above is what I captured. It’s not this amazing, inspiring shot … but it absolutely captures what I intended. It speaks of peace, serenity and openness.

The lesson was … find what’s in yourself. Because everything you’re feeling … whether it be joy, sadness, tiredness … you often bring those emotions to a session with you and it comes through in your portraiture.

I’m not sure if I’m articulating this the right way … but I was so completely inspired and amazed at my own growth and learning in this exercise. I could’ve settled on the ‘obvious’ shot … but it left me feeling flat and I knew it. Instead, I continued on until I had the shot that felt right within my soul.

I’m still giddy with excitement at that discovery!

I have so much more to share and so many more photos. I had an incredible session with a 58 year old man yesterday and two amazing sessions today. I haven’t had a chance to sift through the images yet … and can’t wait to share when I do!

Once again … I leave a workshop full of emotion, gratitude, knowledge and blessings.

And now, it’s late, and I must sleep …