Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
I love these photos of this guy … my guy. I love the look on his face … completely in awe of this incredible bird. And his shirt/sweater combo all crazy-like? That’s my CJ.
But I’m not here to talk about that today. Today I want to open my heart to you … I’m going through a hard time right now. And I know there are many of you that are as well, and I feel God’s laid this on my heart to throw out and share with all of you.
In all seriousness and honesty, I’ve got some issues with this guy of mine and I could rattle off 10 things in 5 seconds flat that I’d like to see change. But what I know is, there is a big fat “liar“ ready to validate and expand every single one of those thoughts.
So I need to be careful. Because this liar wants nothing more than to see discord in my marriage and ultimately, my family.
Know what else I need to be careful of? Coveting.
My friend Karen wrote this post the other day and it made me sad. Sad that my husband had never whispered in my ear that he’d take my sickness and in exchange give me his health. In fact, the liar reminded me that my husband barely acknowledges that I’m sick. And that he dropped me off at the hospital door yesterday for my CT scan and spinal tap and drove away without so much as a sweet word of encouragement. And that when I texted him a few hours later to let him know he could pick me up … he didn’t come in to collect me, but waited outside as I hobbled my way to the car. Yeah.
The liar would have a field day with me. And my marriage. And ultimately, my family, if I let those things fester inside. And you better believe {I think you might} that it.is.very. easy to be reminded of these things … and very easy to make me bitter. And wish for more. And wonder why I can’t have a husband that whispers encouragement into my ear.
Tenth Commandment
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house;
you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.
Do you know this type of thinking is a sin? Seeing someone else’s husband, family, family life, job … and wishing they were yours. And as I’m praying for my marriage, how can the Lord work in my life if I’m sinning?
The liar wants nothing more than to steal, kill and destroy {John 10:10}. Do you get that? Destroy.
The liar’s been having a field day with me lately. And I was really sinking into a downward spiral the last few weeks with the things he’s been “whispering” to me. And quite honestly, it was just yesterday that the Lord spoke to me, “enough is enough, you need to fight.”
I want to unwrap for you a very important gift. Quite possibly … the most important gift ever. You need to protect your marriage … and your family. When these “issues” come around, when they come into mind … don’t let them soak in. They need to be rebuked immediately. Don’t let them into your heart. Don’t allow the liar to let them grow … send them right back to where they came from … the depths of hell.
Families are falling apart all over the place. We are in the battle of our lives.
But you know what? I’m battle ready. Sure … it ain’t easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult.
Ahh … but the reward … my treasure … my family. I will. not. let the liar take them from me!
I want to encourage you to fight. Fight, fight, fight! Put on your armor and fight! Let me ask you this … Would you really want to hand over all that’s precious to you, to a liar who wants nothing more than to destroy you? Or would you rather stand victorious with our Creator … family intact?
This post is linked up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky
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So well-put. It is a battle that you can’t win in one little skirmish, either. Every time those thoughts whisper in your mind’s ear, you have to counter them with truth. I get so weary of it, but that’s when I need to fall on God’s grace and help for my weakness. Thank you for this reminder.
standing in agreement as you fight for your marriage! beautiful honesty today friend – FIGHT! You do have the shield of faith that will extinguish all the flaming arrows! Extinguish – as in OUT!!
Thanks for sharing…so many women experience this – even in Christian marriages. I find it is a daily battle to rid my mind of negative thoughts…our enemy wants us to focus on those more than anything else! I love Stormie Omaritian book “Power of a Praying Wife”…nothing more powerful that prayer! Praying for you!
Love this. And you :)
And I applaud you for talking about this and encouraging women to love their husbands and protect their marriage.
I have an excellent book that shares the marriage stories of well known Christian men and women from the early/mid 1900’s. It’s not preachy or full of advice or anything – just the stories of the good and bad. It’s eye opening to read about some of the preachers and such!!
I am out right now but can send you the title when I get home if you’d like.
Oh, Tracie. Thank you for sharing and fighting. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years and we still have to fight. Satan will not give up on our marriage and we can’t either. Praying for you today. I learned years ago that my husband is God’s gift to me. He saw fit to bless me with THIS man. As soon as I start praying for the Lord to change MY heart I begin to see the blessing he is to me. Praying for you and yours today.
Wow! I really needed to hear this today…I’ve had some major struggles in my marriage this summer as well. Don’t get me wrong, I have a terrific husband. He showers me with lots of terms of endearment and more than my share of physical touch. But, one of my love languages is quality time…which always seems to be lacking. Sigh!! Agreeing with you in prayer for your marriage as I know you’ll be praying for all of those who read your blog too!
wow…that is raw, deep and well-written…you are such a blessing to encourage others. and for showing all sides of the picture…every marriage/relationship is different and we need to remember, especially when we see another relationship that we think is “better” than our own, that we may not be seeing the whole picture outside looking in.
I don’t even have the right words to express how I feel reading this post. So much truth. The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our families and we must stand firm and protect them. Thank you so much for sharing this. Praying for you my friend and praying for all of our families.
Oh, sweetie . . . this one strikes a chord in me — you know it does! The “liar” almost succeeded with me on this very topic. When the hubs didn’t react the way I wanted, felt entitled to, or even witnessed in others, my heart hardened towards him. Which caused a whole downward spiral. Boys are funny in the way they relate to us — often when we need them the most. But I truly think it’s because they don’t like the helpless feeling involved when there’s a situation they just cannot fix. :-( You’re in good company when it comes to putting on that armor and fighting for marriage & family! Not always the easiest battle, but definitely the most important!
woman! thank you. everything i’ve been thinking lately, you’re saying right here. way to use your voice. i hear ya, loud & clear!
Wow, I can’t even begin to express all the emotions you have stirred up in me. You are so right on!
Bravo! Stand up for your marriage & fight. You know what? The liar likes nothing less than to be exposed. He hides in shadows, whispers, and tells enough truth to make deception hidden…to some. So bravo for calling him out & stating that he will not win this battle b/c you will win with the help of the One who has already won the greatest battle. Rise up & stand strong, my friend!
here’s my post today. all your fault. you inspired me to share those thoughts in my head too. =)
http://therommfamily.blogspot.com/2010/07/what-i-believe-battle-cry.html
Tracie. This is such a profound and inspiring blog. You are not alone. At one time or another this Liar does creep up when you least expect it. To have the courage and the strength to look the other way. To look in His direction for guidance and fight for the Good. My thoughts and prayers are with you….Always! xo
Thank you for being encouraging and real! One of the best things someone could have said to me before I was married was to ‘stand for my marriage and guard it with all of your heart because Satan wants nothing more than to destroy your heart and kill your happiness’. At first those words intimidated me but now I understand how easy it would be to let Satan creep in and take over. My marriage has been very blessed, my husband is probably more sensitive and caring than I am sometimes but I know that every marriage has it’s battles too!
Thanks for fighting – I think you’re awesome :o)
Wow! Amazing photos!
http://ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com/2010/07/colors-of-life.html
oh sweet Tracie; I don’t even know what to say. on one hand, I really really want to punch someone in the face, but on the other hand…and in the spirit of what you are writing about, I realize that that isn’t the response I should have. My heart is heavy for you as I read this…but I am so grateful that I did. We have so many issues too that I never even discuss. Isn’t it funny how it seems that someone else has it all, when in fact there is so much pain hidden under every smile. I will be thinking and praying for you friend; your words are inspiring, & I truly believe as you do…your subject is inspired. You are a wonderful gift in my life…thank you for calming my initial reaction…your example is one I will continue to strive for.
This is not coming from a Christian point-of-view, just a personal thought. Marriage is hard and no one is perfect. People can drive you crazy. Keep working at it and do the best that you can for yourself and your children. Find happiness in life when you can and make it through the hard times as fast as you can. Marriage is a lot of ups and downs. I don’t think that it’s the devil. Just the imperfect nature of human beings.
I have been following your blog for a few months now and in the wee hours in the morning when my husband is snoring or just when things are wrestling in my mind about the next days “to do” list – I often visit your blog. I first must say how I truly adore how REAL you are – and that is something I remind my girlfriends is- that each person has things they deal with on a daily basis, but you know what, we are all in this together. This wonderful, glorious life God gave each and every one of us. Our circumstances may be different than others, but to US these hardships are still…..well hard. But it is our faith that keeps us going and our families together. My mother has always said “this too shall pass” plus “God does not give us more than we can handle” :Thank you for your entry today because I too deal with similar thoughts from time to time and I have to make a mental note to myself of all that I am blessed with…including my husband’s strengths and weaknesses. (I am sure he knows all of mine too). Otherwise I feel, weak and attacked and doubtful, but we need to remind ourselves that we are strong, brave and positive on a daily basis. Yes the devil could win. but that is certainly not what we want. Let me tell you that you and your family have been quite the inspiration….I will pray for you, your relationship and your health. Thank you for all you have written from your heart and know that there are plenty of followers who can relate. I truly believe your blog is a gift.
Yes, upon reading the post and rereading the first verse, I believe this is what He would have us to do. Yet, we need to speak truth into our husband’s lives as well. Prayers for wisdom & words & joy with our spouses.
wow, very insightful and interesting food-for-thought! thank you!
Powerful stuff my friend. My prayers are WITH YOU and with all of us who are fighting the same “battle.” I appreciate your honesty and your amazing take on this serious issue!
Tracie, thank you for this wonderful message. It is very touching and honest of you to share a topic that is common among many, but rarely spoken about. I am inspired by your post, your willingness to fight, and your bravery in putting this out there. The timing of your post is so fitting and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your posts. You move me =).
OOOOOOOOOOOh. YES. I understand. I fight too. You have declared it so beautifully here.
I am reminded of a marriage conference we went to once where the speaker had us look at each other and say, “you are not my enemy”. We giggled, but the point was made. Our enemy is outside our marriage–and we can’t let him have his way with either of us.
Hang in there sweet sister. I wish we could sit down for a diet coke and chat. Cause I’m sure I like you. :)
Oh. My. Goodness. I am crying SO hard right now. yo u have absolutely NO idea how much this meant to me to read this. God made me think of you. God wanted me to all of a sudden think of YOUR blog today. God wanted me to wonder why I hadn’t seen any updates. God wanted me to search for it. God wanted ME to read THIS….right now…today….only hours after I made an appointment with a Christian counselor. My hands are shaking.. I have chill bumps. I feel my stomach turning. YOu, my friend, are God speaking to ME. Thank you! Love you.
You spoke the reality probably tucked secretly away in many woman hearts. I battled this for years until the Lord brought me low–very low–through my husband’s unfaithfulness. He has taught me–continues to teach me–that the place of blessing comes when I choose to honor and lift my man with my thoughts, not just with my words through grinding teeth. He has transformed my own woman heart and I am learning to truly love this man regardless of circumstance. We serve a very amazing God. Thanks for your vulnerability.
I randomly clicked on this months blog post, which was ironic that it was just what I needed to hear considering it is from over a year ago, none the less the year and month I got married. I have struggled with these thoughts too and I wasnt aware that any other women did as well, it was just something I felt guilty for and locked away in my “box” and never shared it with anyone. Thank you for this encouraging post, it has deffinatley encouraged me.
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