My word will not return to me until it accomplishes what I intended.
Isaiah 55:11
Some people were hoping my teaser last week meant that CJ has been saved … I’m sorry to report that’s not the case … yet! I still believe that he will be … unfortunately, I have to be patient and wait for God’s timing on that one.
But … I am happy to report that CJ has agreed to letting me homeschool Taylor. I even think he’s a little excited about it! If you know CJ, and the relationship he has with Taylor … you know this is a miracle!
We had an appointment with Taylor’s counselor to talk about homeschooling her. CJ was.not on board. I won’t bore you with all the ugly details, but one quote from him was, “let’s understand here that Taylor isn’t a girl with special needs.” To which the counselor replied, “no, but she is a special girl with needs.” {loved that!}.
Again … I won’t go into all the ugly details, but to nutshell it … CJ thinks Taylor gets whatever Taylor wants, that she’s manipulative, spoiled, coddled, and the list goes on. So he fights tooth & nail {where did that saying ever come from!?} to go the opposite direction to make sure she doesn’t get what she wants.
CJ and I see a counselor ourselves, so we called an emergency meeting with her. I listed all my reasons for wanting to homeschool Taylor. He gave all his reasons why we shouldn’t. The counselor, of course, stated we both had valid reasons and that one of us would have to give. Her exact words were, “one of you is going to have to love the other enough to sacrifice your wishes.” I spoke up and said that I absolutely love CJ enough that I would forgo homeschooling her. But what hurts most is knowing my husband doesn’t feel the same way. He said nothing. And that was the end of our session.
And it was date night. Never schedule a counselor appointment on date night.
We spent the first half of dinner not speaking.
Then we talked. CJ agreed that I know Taylor best and he would do his best to “accept” homeschooling. I told him I need more than that because {based on our history}, I didn’t want him to end up resenting me or Taylor. We talked and talked. He asked if there was something he could do to show me he would really try. I asked him to read two books. The first, “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.” He read it in 4 days. As he was reading, I was praying that God would open his heart. He did.
CJ even bought a book on his own, “Homeschoolers’ College Admissions Handbook.” Again, if you knew us, our family dynamics and our history … you’d understand how huge that is!
{CJ & Taylor :: 2001}
I think this might be the last photo of them I have together like this. It breaks my heart to know that Taylor has experienced this loss {their relationship} as well. But … I suppose that’s another post.
Anyway. I wanted to share that my goal for Taylor this year go beyond her academics. My goal is to educate her heart. And I truly believe CJ is beginning to understand how important this is and how it just may be a new beginning for Taylor … for all of us really.
CJ works mostly from home and cherishes the time he and I have together. He’s made many mentions of us “starting a new life once Taylor leaves for school {college}.” And yeah … that’s another whole post. But I wanted to share that, to show how having her home for homeschooling is sacrificing on so many levels of our family life.
Anyway.
I would like to share some changes in CJ since we’ve met. When we met, he was pretty much agnostic … almost to the point of being an atheist. Granted … I wasn’t anywhere near in my faith as I am today. That said, I’d like to list out where he’s at today:
- He talks about sin, and what’s right or wrong … almost quoting the bible and having a higher standard for Christians. He’s very much aware of what behavior should be expected from Christians.
- He made mention of God the other day … and then corrected himself and said, “I mean your God. I guess it would be my higher power.”
- He’s starting to volunteer to pray every once and a while at mealtime.
- He made a point of making sure that we said a prayer for Ariel before she died. And the next day, made a point of getting me {I stayed in the house with Piper} to come outside and say a prayer before her burial.
Keep praying for us … I know God has BIG plans for our family!
This post is linked up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky
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eek! i love this news today!
when i first started reading today’s post, i instantly started thinking “yeah, but HE suggested ya’ll pray over ariel, so that’s definite positive points there!” …lo, and behold, you mentioned that very point. progress is success. even a little progress means forward, so that’s success pure & simple. the little successes are the foundation that shoulders the large successes!
also kudos to CJ for reading that book!!!! (uber snaps to you for suggesting he read it. so, so good! he may not be ready for the bible just. quite. yet. but “strong fathers, strong daughters” sounds like just about his comfort level. so, seriously, good job tracie!)
and lastly, i do believe tooth & nail means fighting with everything you’ve got right? as in biting & scratching—whatever it takes. but that’s just my thoughts.
have a marvelous & miraculous tuesday, my friend!
So much can be said but I’m wrapping it up in one word: AMEN.
Will keep on praying for you…I do believe God is listening. xo
Wow! This really touched me. Brought tears to my eyes….how much God is working in your relationship. And, I have to admit….I’m a wee bit jealous because I can’t get JT to read a book for ANYTHING!!!! I even bought one on CD for him since he drives in a car out of town every single day. UGH! It’s still in the case with plastic on it….and that was two years ago. If CJ is open to reading….I can send him my 32 pages of research on Homeschooling if you’d life. he he….. ;-)
Praying for more miracles for your family. God is so good and He wants all of you to know Him and love Him. So many times I remind myself that God isn’t finished with me yet. And He isn’t finished with CJ either.
oh, family stuff can be so trying! i admire your honesty and vulnerability here, and it is so clear that “he who began a good work in you with carry it to completion.”
praising God for his faithful work in your family. blessings on this new adventure:)
Tracie, the way you have handled all the difficult situtions that you have been through, shows Curt that there is a God. There is no way anyone could have endured all you went through the past year on their own strength. I see the small changes in Curt and Praise God that he has a strong Christain wife to help him through.
i can’t stop smiling at this post! between the awkwardness of your post-therapy date night and thinking of the amazing “nudges” God is giving to cj (well and that gorgeous pic of tay and cj)…it’s just too much! YAY and praise God for opening cj’s heart to all of this! Continued prayers for tay as she begins this journey, for you as you lead this journey, and for her & cj to rebuild what they once had! love you all!!!
as i get to know you more… i realize that you are much more amazing than i ever thought. to live like this, knowing that there should be better… and to love anyway. to give the way you do… love, time, the “win,” and still feel the miracle. my heart feels a little broken for you (and taylor), and yet, there is your smiling face. and your strength. you, too, are a very special girl…
Oh my! I have so much to say that I’m sending you an email. How is it your posts always resonate with me???
thumb print of a cloud friend – a thumb print! Read about Elijah praying for rain – (1Ki 18:41-45) “Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.” Let it be a downpour in CJ’s life!!!! continuing to pray friend! love you!
A miracle is a miracle… :):) God is working in beautiful ways. Small steps are still steps. I think his offer to pray at dinner is a wonderful thing too! Does he read this blog? How does he feel about us talking about him?! I hope he knows that there a ton of people that are on his side and cheering him on. :) :)
I completely understand how huge all of this is and am so happy that he is trying to be understanding and learn more on his own as well. HUGE!
I don’t know all of your family dynamics but yay for baby steps!!! Homeschooling isn’t easy and some days I wish I could send my kids to school but I love watching their hearts blossom and grow, I love watching them play and imagine together. And as a person that likes to be alone, it is hard to always have 4 kids at home and for me and my hubs to both work out of our house. Insanity but we get through it with prayer. I hope this brings you all closer, especially CJ and Taylor!
to think of the road ahead might appear overwhelming, unthinkable, trying and difficult…. then pause for a moment to reflect on how very far you have come, how you have grown; and {at his own pace} how curt has grown… thankfully we never run out of time, and God is on your side!!!
the picture of curt & tay makes my heart melt…. i believe in time you will capture another photo of them in that loving capacity.
Gotta echo, Trisha’s comment. The photo brought tears to my eyes. Aah, Tracie . . . you’re doing good things. You’ve helped me see with more clarity the role that prayer plays in my life — and how to become more faith centered. I have no doubt that CJ will eventually come to the same conclusions. :-) Big things coming to the tsj family, I just know it! Love you all!