Some of you know … some of you don’t … that I’ve been walking through a raging fire for some time now. I don’t talk about it or carry on {too much} on the blog here. But it’s there. The pain. The fire. It’s always there.
I have a lot of thoughts rolling around and I’d like to flush them out here … writing them out, here in my space, it helps bring purpose and sense to what I’m feeling.
I read something the other day and screamed “YES! YES! That’s exactly how I feel!”
“Blogging has profoundly changed me … I am a mess. I am a contradiction. I am brave and also not.
Working those things out in writing helps me to have peace with it rather than fight it so much. Thinking about my own contradictions in my head brings anxiety. But writing through them gives me courage. Yes, I am a mess. But that doesn’t mean I have nothing to offer.
Hope profoundly motivates me.
I see the world as a half-full glass.
I risk Pollyanna by writing that way but I don’t care.” Emily Freeman, Chatting at the Sky
“I risk Pollyanna by writing that way but I don’t care.”
That’s how I feel. A lot of the time.
I’m in pain. I’m walking a nightmare. But I have hope.
I always have hope. “Hope profoundly motivates me.” And causes me to continue to share … reach out … and breathe Truth into your souls.
I shared just two days ago of my hurt. And y’all responded with love and kindness. To be honest … the purpose of that post wasn’t meant to be about me and my pain. It’s purpose was to be real, to let you know I have real hurts and pain, but I have hope. And it’s purpose was to encourage you with that hope.
There’s always hope.
Many times I absolutely feel “I risk Pollyanna,” when I carry on about hope, and truth, and promises. Sometimes my Pollyanna-like thoughts stifle me. I fear you might be across the screen giving me the proverbial eye-roll. That fear stifles my words and causes me to shut down.
But then a truth comes. Hope blooms. The promises reveal themselves to me once more urging themselves to be shared.
And so … as Emily so sweetly put it, “I may risk Pollyanna but I don’t care.”
It’s my purpose. And I won’t let my pain happen in vain.
Today I’m linking up with Write It, Girl.
No eye rolls. I know that this is huge and I wonder sometimes how you keep going. But I also know that hope is what we have -we have to – or why did we follow Jesus in the first place? You write however you feel moved to, no there are no judgments from us. Don’t you judge yourself, and edit! xoxo
I really appreciated this because I can identify with it on a deep level, and I think many others can too. We are all messy. We are all contradictions. But we also carry His light, and He can shine through those things to help others. What you do is important, and I’m with you – if He can use the pain and difficulty to lead others to Him – it’s worth it. Thank you for this!
there is always hope!! & you will not see any eye rolls from this lady!
I’m praying you have a beautiful day today!!!! Stay true to yourself and don’t worry about the eye rolling, if writing helps then write! I’m sure you’re helping others along your journey and you don’t even know it. I know your words encourage me every day.
Tracie, despite your circumstances which I know of…you continue to inspire hope in us despite the hurt and pain you are feeling. You look outside of your own troubles to help us cope in a God like way with our own struggles. God is proud of you…we are proud of you. Keep on inspiring us with your courage and strength…it is a gift you have that is willing shared–and it adds light to our lives. Thank you.
Loved Emily’s post. And how it spoke to you and you are passing it on.
There is always hope.
You live it.
You share it.
I love that about you girl!
I’m losing track of the number of times I’ve heard someone say, “Your pain determines your passion” over the last few weeks. God is reminding me that He will use pain for His glory and my good. Keep on speaking the hope that is in you. It is the life of light and shadow that binds believers to Christ’s suffering and ultimately brings about His redemptive purpose. Thanks for sharing.
tracie, i am praying for you, just like you do for me when i leave a comment. your blog has helped me just when i needed it. ——— You are in my prayers.
candace
“And I won’t let my pain happen in vain.”
I’m so thankful for this. God has a great and glorious plan to redeem all things for His glory. Even this.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. So looking forward to that coffee we get to have VERY soon.
I admit I cannot relate to how you’re feeling or what you must be going through, but I wanted to thank you for not being afraid to share that fact that you have pain. People do not learn from themselves or others if we keep everything bottled up inside. It is only when we share the pain, hurt, and sadness as well as joys, happiness, and smiles, that we can really heal, learn, and grow.
You inspire me and I am always in awe of the way you continue to forge ahead with all that is weighing on your shoulders. Most have no idea of the depth of pain both physically and emotionally…and that is in part because of your amazing way to convey what you are dealing with through scriptures and to help us along the way. I believe your ability to write is a gift that we are all eager to read and to learn from…my hope is that someday soon you will find some relieve~
I believe in sharing. When being shared. There are days that one need to just say what needs to be said, no matter what your style is. . . .each person will digest at their own intellect. Thank you for being the woman you are and willing to share you have incouraged me in more ways than you know.
I love you! “Hope blooms” my favorite words of this post — how we all so need to cling to that!