{warning: grab a cup of coffee …}

I have been a major miss whiner lately and I couldn’t quite figure out why.  I’m in my office {at work} at 6:30 yesterday morning, complaining in my head about all my ‘poor me’s.’

I used to feel like I needed to list out all the things I had piling up on me and all the things that stress me out {insert dramatic eye roll}.  Then I saw Soledad O’Brien speak at a women’s conference thingy and my perspective was completely changed {well … not completely, completely to those of you who have still endured my occasional whining}. But what she said hit me at the core … it was a realization she made while in the midst of trying to one-up on the stress level when talking with friends.  Ready?

“It’s not a competition.”

We all have stresses and it truly isn’t a competition.  From then on, I’ve tried {insert humble smile} to be very cautious when talking to friends and complaining about my life and all my stresses.  I try very hard not to go into my lists of what I’ve got piled up.

The past couple of years have brought me much pain.  I didn’t know how to handle it at first and so it brought me more pain {all of course while I was smiling to the world, except to an unfortunate few of you …}.  I was at a ‘hands up in the air, I have no idea what to do here point,’ when I finally figured it out … I needed to let go and give it to God.  When I think back on that time {I don’t let myself go too deeply too often} I have no idea how I got through it.  It’s then that I’m reminded, it really wasn’t me who got through it … it was God who got me through it.

Do you know the footprints saying?  I won’t list it all out here … but the jist has a man talking to God asking about the footprints he sees in the sand.  And the man says to God “look here, when I was going through the hardest times in my life, there are no footprints.  Where were you?”  And God replies {major tears}, “That my child is when I carried you.”

My God carried me through the last couple of years, I have no doubt.

{kleenex thrown away}

So this brings me to my entry … I feel like I’ve been writing it in my head for the last week.  Only it was much different before … it was a list, to list out all of the stresses going on in my life right now.  And I need to apologize to a few of you who have been the brunt of my complaining lately.  I can’t tell you how guilty I felt after those conversations.  Did it help me feel better to vent?  No, I felt convicted.

My thoughts keep returning to the question, why I can’t seem to get over the things that have me buried right now.  When it pretty much hits me over the head and knocks me over … I have been trying to deal with this turmoil myself.  I have not turned it over to God.  I’ve been praying every morning for wisdom and guidance {and a few extra hours in my day!} and then I’d go about my day a frazzled mess!

When I realized this morning that I had been asking God to speak to me, and then turned and pretty much ran … how in the world am I supposed to hear anything when I’m going at warp speed?  Fortunate
ly, my God speaks to me loudly at times and this morning I finally figured it out.

“Trust in me,” he said.  And I did.  And I got more accomplished {tears of thankfulness and joy starting} today, then I usually accomplish ever.  Bonus for being obedient? I interviewed a candidate for office manager {pickin’s were so slim I can’t even begin to tell you!} today and hired her on the spot!  I never do that!  It was a God thing.

It is amazing what you can accomplish when you turn it over to God … and for that my Lord, I thank you.  {I feel a song coming on!}:

What if in morning when I wake up

Even before I fill my coffee cup

I said thank You

Thank You

What if I look at the day and the hours ahead

And before I move forward I bowed my head

And said thank You

Oh I said thank You

What if I looked at my life in a different way

Took a little more time to stop and pray

I know it would change all the moments in between

So here I go

Thank You for everything

Thank You for loving me

It don’t even matter what tomorrow brings

Well I will sing my

Thank You for sun and rain

For what You give and take away

For all Your goodness I will always say

Thank You

Oh I’ll say thank You

What if I lost everything that I had

I could smile and somehow still be glad

And say thank You

Thank you

Cause life is joy, life is pain

But the prayer on my heart will never change

I say thank You

Oh I’ll say thank You

{Thank you by 33 Miles. I strongly urge you to purchase.  It’s a catchy little ditty!}